I’m getting work in
northern Canada somewhere, possibly out west. The weather is dark and cold. I
take a bus for hours, and finally arrive at a gas station/bus stop. I enter,
and the place is a ghost town.
I go into the shop,
as I'm hungry and want to buy something to eat while I wait - there's nothing
to buy here. I walk past racks of post cards and small key chains, to find an
empty convenience store with no shelves - only an older native man running a
lotto desk. He doesn't make eye contact.
I'm boarding with
someone in this town, and they drive me to the hour where I'll be staying: a 2
story cabin, four rooms across, with a large central room downstairs. It seems
familiar, but I can't place from where.
Tired, I go upstairs
to unpack and get to bed. I enter a room, and I'm horrified. Nailed to the wall
are upside down pair of dolls feet. The chipped paint underneath show where the
rest of the sculpture was attached to the wall, but it was removed long ago.
The shape mimics an upside down cross - yet only the feet remain.I run to
another room, and discover the same thing, but recreated with a Barbie dolls'
feet and legs hanging from the wall of an empty room. There's a lot of water damage
in this room, and some in the dimly lit hallway.
This horrifies me on
a level outside of the dream - I remember a dream from my childhood where I was
in a cabin, perhaps at camp, and found these dolls nailed to the wall in an
inverted St. Peter on the cross way.
I run down stairs,
and into the family that's boarding me. They are dressed in some kind of
KKK-esk ceremonial garb, with two women bent over, prepared for some kind of
sex ritual. I scared of what's happening here, so far away from everything,
late at night in a strange city. I run for the door, but one of the brothers in
this family tries to stop me - I club him with a nearby lamp, and make it
outside to the front lawn. I feel disoriented, swirling vertigo as I stumble
and crawl across the dew-damp lawn. The sun’s coming up, and there are wet
cardboard boxes strewn around the lawn. One of the girls from the family is
outside, and trying to explain to me it was a big joke - the brother, sister
and friends staying at the cabin were just trying to freak me out. I can't
understand why - and why the weirdly religious, quasi sexual angle? The woman
just shrugs.
* * *
I'm tearing lined
pages out of a spiral bound notebook, and trying to trim the edge with
scissors. I'm late for something, and realize I haven't had a chance to shower
or dress properly. I rush to a cafe, but it's the middle of the night. The air
has a quiet stillness, with everything in shades of grey. There's nothing
around for miles. I walk down a dirt road lined with trees on one side, and an
open field bordered by a fence on the other. As the road ends at a house, I
realize there's a cafe table with seating outside. I'm simultaneously indoors
at this cafe - closed, with the metal shop front gate closed to my left --- and
I'm still outside, with the dirt road, and tree line to my left. It's disorienting.
I'm supposed to meet
someone here, a lawyer. He needs me to present something about the "nature
of desolation" using bits I had in a notebook, and pages from an old Dark
Horse comic I had with me. The lawyer is late, so I take a seat at the table /
indoors. I start up a conversation with the people there, who are the
defendants in the lawyers’ case. I'll be helping them somehow. I speak with a
man to my left, sitting on an L-shaped sofa the runs around one side of this
table. He says he's from G----- college, part of my old university. We're
getting along really well, and a female friend of his switches sides of the
table so that she's sitting beside me. They're all part of an organization
that's being sued for something, and they're all waiting on this lawyer.
There's a man drawing
very accurate space ships at the table next to his, but has 2 other people
shading them with pencil crayons. One I recognize. He shows me his poorly
colored picture, and then returns to what he was doing.
I'm simultaneously
outside and in. The sun is rising - filtered through the trees to my left. The
table and people are still there, but they're outside -- the two rooms existing
within the same three-dimensional space. I see a man walking through the
treeline down a road. It's the lawyer. I meet him half-way, and ask what I need
to do for the trial. "You'll know when you're there." is all he says.
He's friendly, and it feels like I've seen him before.
There are chimpanzees
nearby, and one lying slumped near a tree as we walk back to the table. The
lawyer shoves it over at me, and it falls into my leg. The chimp is partially
decapitated, with the head only attached by a small bit of flesh. This is
horrifying and confusing. "Why did you do that?" I yell at the lawyer. He just shrugs.
We get to the table,
and immediately we're no longer outside. The left side security gate, with the
exit beyond into a darkened mall exists now. The lawyer gets everyone up to
leave, and I help pull up the gate area, holding it high enough for everyone to
slip though.
As we leave the gated
cafe behind, the twilight illuminating the room fades, and the room becomes a
black void. I turn to catch up with the lawyer and defendants as they walk off
into the darkened mall, but all I can hear are their distant voices receding in
the distance.